Monday, October 15, 2007

Serious topics...hmmm....

I got this message from a good person on Orkut, she said i should probably start blogging on things that matter apart from the things that take place in my life.

Well, i haven't really come across things that really matter here. Unfortunately for me, my life is pretty much about myself and the few people i know.

It shouldn't be that way, i should have something more to offer, to be honest, the person said good things about how say things in print. And this is a heartfelt thank you.

I'm going to have to get off my butt and go search for this meaningful topic, topics, yeah...topics.

For starters, and i know this is personal - i'm now on FB and i do believe it has its fair share of similarities to the million other social networking sites, but then popular vote has most of my friends and acquaintances on it too, so then FB is where everyone is for now.

It can be a tiring past time, but on a given day when you have nothing much to do but lounge, then it can be good past time.

This pretty much sums up how completely wasted i have been over the past few days.

But i did have a kicking time at Ron and Mel's last evening, stayed up till 2:00 a.m. discussing two people who could be 'Heroes' - :) hahahhahaa!

Nuff said...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Losing a bet. But winning something bigger.

So here's the thing, several yeas ago at my mom's dining table, i made a bet for 500 bucks with Neil Eapen that i would get my own pad (with airconditioning, mind you!) and the whole works. Nothing fancy. But something that took care of the basics.

I said i'd do it by 25. I got what i said i would when i turned 27. Missed it by two years. I lost the bet - but i won a whole lot more. Yes, i got air conditioning. Every single last thing on that list. It isn't much if you compare it to the things people are doing int he world today.

People have given up thier lives for causes, some continue to amaze the world with their ability to look beyond boundaries. Others, well...i ain't one to judge or be the last word on anything...but still...they're rockin'.

I'd like to take a page out of that. Tear it up and put it in my pocket. Keep it there so that anytime i'm stuck for inspiration, its crunch and touch will let me know - that i'm not the only one.

I've got this irresisitible pull for something larger, for something deeper. I fight ordinariness everyday, and in a few special people, i cherish that i...we can change it and make it unique - apart - y'know?

I won't let that go. I'm taking it with me and making it mine, ours. Something worth being different for.

I always thought in some funny way, that that bet was the only real thing i had going for awhile. I went through some pretty confusing shit..., but in the end...i had that bet keeping me going.

Neil, if you ever read this, i'd like you to know. It's been worth the 500 bro. Every single paise (the bet was made in Indian currency back in the day).

I got my own pad. It's not permanant. But its mine. : )

Moving on to bigger things now...


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Five (of many) Philosophies of Life

The Five (of many) Philosophies of life. We come across these maxims everyday. Opportunities to exercise a difference. To be different. However, at the speed at which we fly, there’s just no time to really sit and think about them. I recently (yesterday) realised how important the first philosophy is to me.

[Oh by the way, if you're wondering where the philosophies are, i've included them below, only because i wanted you to read what i thought about it first...just...]

When I read the second I realised that it made sense. I didn’t cry when my grandfather died, I had my reasons, one of them was that I didn’t know him well enough and the other is he didn’t want us to know him well either. I was cool with that. Like I said. I have my reasons. I didn’t cry when good friends turned bad, I didn’t cry when something I thought special – disappeared.

The third is kind of hard, but not impossible. It makes you feel weak and wimp-like, but in reality you’re anything but that. So if any of you have and are successfully practicing Philosophy number 3, I think that’s a good thing. Philosophy number 4. It’s hard to accept sometimes, but it’s true. The only true happiness we can receive is when we search for the emptiness we have inside and fill it. The lines can blur so many times…but then stick to it, yeah? I know I’ve bruised myself enough, but then before I can successfully lapse into a jaded defeat I immediately bulk up on something I’d like to call a reality check and know in my heart I’m better off than more people I’ll ever know.

Philosophy number 5. Kinda ties in with 4 don’t you think? It balances that sense of loss or self imposed isolation we tend to associate it with it. I’d like to share mine in every way possible.

[Imagine a bard standing on pedestal of some kind loudly announcing these theatrically, with aplomb. With conviction.]






Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Dancing with the Sun

Yup. I've migrated officially to the new blogger.

Honestly, it's been awhile, yeah? Apologies to the select few who actually take the time to make it here to read what i have to say. I don't say much really, it's more of a compilation of what i feel and somewhere at the end a reasoning for all of it.

For there is so much to be said and done in our lives. This is just...well...a place we can just type and deliciously heard by many.

Anyway, i met up with a friend who happens to visit this blog once in awhile with voddy in hand and slow stewing of mind - a nice way to enjoy this space. Since i haven't been on the blogosphere for awhile, he asked me where i was hiding

I had to smile, cause honestly i don't have a valid excuse. I just decided that i would take a break, but the break really came to me, i didn't go looking for it. :)

I wasn't really looking to suddenly be in a chair where i could relax and really breathe for awhile. Respite is short lived, we all know that by now. We're all grown up.

Love is a funny thing, it can make you forget yourself. So deep is the journey that we seldom look up to see if we've still got enough rope to pull us out, should the darkness get to you. Y'see the reason why we forget we ever need rope is that this tunnel is interspersed with convinient pit stops. Just when you're beginning to get scared - boop! You hit a spot of light and then you relax.

It's been over 2 years since my last relationship. I have tried to understand it; and i think to myself that i'm doing a good job of analysing it, simply because i trust that two years alone after that whirwind would make me see things differently. Well, in a way i do. See things differently. I am much more calmer and thnkafully know what i would or would not like in a man.

Is that one step closer to everything i want? Well, it depends on whether i'm evolving and whether what i want can evolve with me. Can he evolve with me?

This diatribe sounds selfish doesn't it? I mean it's all about me. And i ask, why shouldn't it be about me? Why should love always have this over-the-top self sacrificial tone where you're always spouting about what the other person wants.

You can only give if you're getting something. right? Love is a two-way thing. It is something we endlessly feel and aspire to perfect, but as finite beings we are also looking to see if there's something in it for us.

It could be as simple as companionship, or someone to hold on to. There's a lot of give - make no mistake. I mean if you're planning to sit on your high horse and say, "i'm well worth the effort, hon". Well, so is the other person. You wouldn't be seeing him or her if they didn't mean something or weren't worth the effort.

Anyway, this season of love i have witnessed have many friends and old aquantainces gearing up to walk down aisles, sign registers or just plain pledge their committments.

Mel and Ron, i hope you're life together (from the Thursday of your choice! wink!) is an insightful and rewarding exchange of personality, smiles, good times and togetherness.

J & D (you know who you are!) I hope that the steps you're taking together toward a lasting and committed relationship is built on mutual trust, respect, time and fun. Lots of fun ;)!

And as for me, i'd like to invite the Sun to dance with me, the kind of dance that's slow, fast, trippy and downright mad - the kind of dance you've got to keep tapping to. The kind of dance i love.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Vibes People Play

Dear Everyone,

I had a fairly eventful month or two and results have been staggering. Emotionally that is. I do believe a breakthrough has been made and in it a very wise understanding of where i stand in it. I smile as i type this, because it is yet another chapter in my life that brought me closer to a deeper understanding of myself and what i'm capable of.

Its not all roses though...

Discovering also has a lot mending, rewinding, new painful or pleasure filled discovery that doesn't make it a (let's just say) walk in the park.

But nevertheless such journeys are what sterner stuff is made of. And sterner stuff is what we all need. My penchant for the dark. What can i say? Hey.

So it is from one of these discoveries that i emerged early this morning to find that my pleasured self emanated a distinct hue and atmosphere that unsettled my fine colleagues around me.

The vibes were clearly signalled and because of its deep nature silence was the chosen tool.

The vibes were of awe, jealousy, remoteness, stares, resentment, of being intimiated, of smarting...

What followed were acts of self-preservation. Desperate acts of preservation. :)

There were reassuring calls being made to better halfs, chit-chats of the insulting kind...smirks that were so insecure...I had to laugh. It felt good to awe-ed at blatantly. Obviously living a little around here takes some guts, and making a little takes some adventure., what do you call a drunken sailor earl-i in the morning?

Ooooh...i could get used to this.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Time Flies when the Path Twists Unexpectedly

Don't you hate it when that happens?

I never really had the privilege like the few I term 'blessed' to know where exactly I was headed until a few months (almost a year, but not quite) ago. It takes a lot of gut (and I mean a lot) if you aren't from the genre of the former 'blessed' category to actually acknowledge it and make a run for the unexpected, new and unfamiliar with a vague notion that the only thing that's driving you there is passion.

It's a tricky word this passion. It's fuelled by so many other aspects from your core. Impulse, worry, energy, intensity, love, hate, danger...

My passion latently snuggled under tonnes of insecurity blankets, jostling to get out. I do believe it has made its way past all of them. Cause I honestly am rearing to go.

My elation knew no bounds when my passion ran out into the clear and soaked in long missed sunshine and I suddenly had a clearer vision of where I needed to go...Passion had run along ahead of me and was pointing excitedly to the path, I had walked alongside for quite awhile.

So now, I'm on this path. Now, the things passion isn't prepared for and doesn't see coming are the curve balls that time throws at you. Whoo! Boy, do they hurt! However, I must admit that it's easily internalised simply because you now know you're on your way to something. It's scary, don't get me wrong. There are lot of fears you must face. Your passion has no fear. Your spatial skills and sense of reality do. It's a potent blend of elation, excitement, fright and disbelief (that you're actually doing this, that you've come this far AND that you're ACTUALLY going to DO this!).

I've been thrown 3 curve balls as of the 8th of January 2007. One is extremely interesting. The others are...well...let's just say manageable. You have a problem when the curve ball is interesting, because the natural urge to duck and slam it out of the way is quashed almost immediately. You're now standing and looking at this situation with a amusing, quizzical expression on your face. You don't know where this going, but you still want to find out anyway. You know?

But passion has it's ways of drawing you remind where you are headed - and that it wasn't easy to have found it in the first place. A wise man once said that, "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy'. I humbly accept that.

Right now I'm taking tentative steps forward, I've got this problem of backward glancing (I'm working on this as we speak and I have to say I've made progress), which I hope to channel into a more efficient trait. Going down memory lane is one thing. Spaz-ing out at the moment I'm supposed to be grabbing every opportunity is another.

:) Oh fear not! Honestly, I'm fine. Passion and I talk about it, we balance it and figure out where I need to cut the fat, and sometimes, it sits down munches on something and says it'll wait. But not too long, y'know?

Passion time it waits for no one. It's your business to keep up. Anything or anyone that can't...well...I gotta run!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Better Work Trends, Creativity and Dangrous Borderlines - Part II

What is a better work trend? Is it something that idly hammocks in our mind, swinging from one pole to the other trying to work its way into our outer recesses, infuse itself into speech and reasoning power. Does better work trends translate into comfort zones, rec rooms and uni-sex toilets? I don't know really. For in a socially led world like hours 'better work trends' could mean a million things to a few people.

I say few, because they're the ones who essentially make the rules, write out the charter and Bcc it the entire organisation.

We've been reading in recent news, white papers and conglomerate spiel that flexible working is on the upswing. Several top global companies are pushing technology to deliver more than just e-mail, conference calls and video sat links. I'd personally like to say Hallejuiah.

The term itself is so endearing, no? Flexible - makes so much more room for air, time, constructive input/output, feedback. I say this because time management in burgeoning cities not only include timesheets, but traffic, personal lives, rest, per sqm of work space used in an office and other such wonderful elements that could make or break a balance sheet in a financial year.

So how many of you actually put in enough work to pay off the desk space you use? Rent is calculated you know. Oh, and how many of you earn it back or are paid enough for churning out more than a bang for the buck? Ironically the latter question you ask yourself, awaits an answer from someone else and the former question you spit out into the atmosphere has your name on it.


So, would you be comfrotable with a flexible working option? Would you be able to effectively deliver sitting from the convinience of your home? Are you up to working remotely? Strong debates do tend to crop up (i mean taking sides is an inborn trait of ours and then of course the new millenia coughed up a third which is 'non-committal' - a wonderful gift).

I for one am FOR flexible working. I like the idea of managing my own time, i like the idea of delivering real time and managing my laundry together. I like the option of mobile interfacing than working with a lot of people who 'just need to get out home'. I like that it sieves out the chaff. It does. Any way you look at it, the possibilities of flexible working are immense.

And for the naysayers, I think it should be a choice. In Dubai, traffic is a cuss word. The moment everyone gets back from their vacations, emergency trips and other such offloading the city's roads groan as people with 2 - 3 cars per home vomit themselves unto the streets. What would be a half hour drive to work becomes a two hour nightmare, that saps you off all the good energy you could use at work.

By the time you get to work, some smug auntie is already trying to eat into what's left your sanity because she lives 5 minutes away and thinks she's smarter than you. Good morning sunshine!

;( - I can't WAIT to get started.

With no respectable public transport system anywhere near the horizon (talks of 2008 continue to do the rounds, with the money they have, it could happen...) the roads are choked.

Flexible working is an answer. But of course mentality is evasive. Everyone has this chip on their shoulder, they just don't see productive work happening when remotely done. Why? Because you're at home, or somewhere...remote. One could possibly NOT do any work right? WRONG.

Freelancers are by default remote workers. They're engaging in projects that take them time, effort and a lot of brainwork. Offices don't use up space, they charge a fee. And ta-da we're happy. A lot of consultants work remotely. Senior management most often than not work remotely. They're all about the strategy, see?

So who are the schmucks who need to come into work to make it look like a functioning organisation? You and me. We're the schmucks. We're the ones who have to bang out inane reports, useless statistics and feedback, make the unwanted telephone calls - basically things that go into the inane report that tells the client we deserve the fee we're charging. Right!

And we wait, and pray for the day we move up a notch, to a more 'stragtegic' posting, where things like flexibility, productivity, efficiency and ROI begins to take shape and suddenly make sense!

If anyone who's 'senior' happens to pass by this page - could you do me favour? Could you re-think for me? Flexible working could mean 3 day office job 3 day remote. It could mean one day away but contactable and 5 days fifty - fifty.

It could mean happier and more productive compared to pressurised, stumped, blinded, 'hands-tied-behind-ones-back', under-handed, snap-dragon(-ny). It could mean cost effective, time saving, better office management, lesser stress. Flexible.

Think about it.

Friday, January 05, 2007


Dear Everyone,

It's the start to the new year. I have to say that i had a more exciting start to 2007 than the past few. I invited a few freinds over to my little apartment and everyone fresh with wounds from work, life and love wept, danced and drank to forget the little that was left of 2006.

As i watched everyone from my favrouite spot in the house, the right-most single seater couch that sits closest to the television, I was happy that everyone had suddenly removed themselves of many a mask and were just who they were. Safe to say, that many a revelation was made.

Through it all, there was a silent acceptance of what had been laid open for everyone to see. And we danced. We all danced, to music, to sounds, to the beats in our head. We talked, we spilled, we mulled over wine and conversation.

People went for walks, others went to sleep, and the few who were left groggigly groping for what was left of the year slipped in and out of the old.

One of my friends asked me at a saner moment, to describe what 2006 had meant to me. Everyone wants to know what 06 meant to everyone. But the catch was that i say it in a single sentence that would only contain a comma and full stop.

I thought about it for a second and lot of what i had been through in the past year flashed before me and i have to admit that i was quite okay with what i saw. No real-deep regrets and the beauty is that you wouldn't change anything. Not one thing.

So i said, "2006, introduced me."

Happy New Year everyone. I love you very much.