Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Dancing with the Sun

Yup. I've migrated officially to the new blogger.

Honestly, it's been awhile, yeah? Apologies to the select few who actually take the time to make it here to read what i have to say. I don't say much really, it's more of a compilation of what i feel and somewhere at the end a reasoning for all of it.

For there is so much to be said and done in our lives. This is just...well...a place we can just type and deliciously enough...be heard by many.

Anyway, i met up with a friend who happens to visit this blog once in awhile with voddy in hand and slow stewing of mind - a nice way to enjoy this space. Since i haven't been on the blogosphere for awhile, he asked me where i was hiding

I had to smile, cause honestly i don't have a valid excuse. I just decided that i would take a break, but the break really came to me, i didn't go looking for it. :)

I wasn't really looking to suddenly be in a chair where i could relax and really breathe for awhile. Respite is short lived, we all know that by now. We're all grown up.

Love is a funny thing, it can make you forget yourself. So deep is the journey that we seldom look up to see if we've still got enough rope to pull us out, should the darkness get to you. Y'see the reason why we forget we ever need rope is that this tunnel is interspersed with light...like convinient pit stops. Just when you're beginning to get scared - boop! You hit a spot of light and then you relax.

It's been over 2 years since my last relationship. I have tried to understand it; and i think to myself that i'm doing a good job of analysing it, simply because i trust that two years alone after that whirwind would make me see things differently. Well, in a way i do. See things differently. I am much more calmer and thnkafully know what i would or would not like in a man.

Is that one step closer to everything i want? Well, it depends on whether i'm evolving and whether what i want can evolve with me. Can he evolve with me?

This diatribe sounds selfish doesn't it? I mean it's all about me. And i ask, why shouldn't it be about me? Why should love always have this over-the-top self sacrificial tone where you're always spouting about what the other person wants.

You can only give if you're getting something. right? Love is a two-way thing. It is something we endlessly feel and aspire to perfect, but as finite beings we are also looking to see if there's something in it for us.

It could be as simple as companionship, or someone to hold on to. There's a lot of give - make no mistake. I mean if you're planning to sit on your high horse and say, "i'm well worth the effort, hon". Well, so is the other person. You wouldn't be seeing him or her if they didn't mean something or weren't worth the effort.

Anyway, this season of love i have witnessed have many friends and old aquantainces gearing up to walk down aisles, sign registers or just plain pledge their committments.

Mel and Ron, i hope you're life together (from the Thursday of your choice! wink!) is an insightful and rewarding exchange of personality, smiles, good times and togetherness.

J & D (you know who you are!) I hope that the steps you're taking together toward a lasting and committed relationship is built on mutual trust, respect, time and fun. Lots of fun ;)!

And as for me, i'd like to invite the Sun to dance with me, the kind of dance that's slow, fast, trippy and downright mad - the kind of dance you've got to keep tapping to. The kind of dance i love.

1 comment:

Vijay m said...

Welcome back after your break,..

sounds like you are in love or something or maybe not cos i didnt quite get the part about you dancing with sun. Anyways good luck with that.

You say you know that you've figured out what exactly you want or do not want in a person to love the person, but really when love really happens do you really think you would first analyse the person before you decide to fall in love?, i dont think so... cos this thng called love just happens... am no expert but atleast thats what i think it is.

This thing called love is complex
it keeps on changing, evolving one step ahead of us first theres 'the thrill and rush', then 'theres the peace and letting go' then theres the 'taking for granted' thats when we all have to stop and take stock of the situtaion if its possible, forget about ropes & dark tunnels you are flying blind with no intruments even.

Anyways as i understand 'love for ever' is a farce with the exception of parents love.

So good luck trying to figure that out anf good luck to all those who think they already figured it out.

and as for you Meg keep dancing with the sun, dont know what it means but sure sounds less harmfull than love and exciting.

:)