Thursday, February 26, 2009

And so it begins
This new beginning
A life once thought was not worth living
A chance to recreate a start
A chance to actually play a part

In something better and beautiful.

I believed that every end meant sorrow
I chanced upon more stones to follow
Until once day I looked above
And saw an awakening of

A different perspective.

If I don't belong here
Then its somewhere else
A place that believes in bettering oneself
A purpose filled project or life
Emerges from every single strife

Climb up from bottom of the pit to the top of the heap.

Up. Up. And away.

Monday, February 09, 2009

I ask you...

Would it really upset your apple cart to come to terms with my life and choices?

How would it feel to just be able to breathe without having an aneurysm? Why is it that every step I take or make interferes with your better judgement and enjoyment of the world?

Is it not enough that you had your chance to live? Must you then force your burdened ideology on others, especially me?

Why are you in so much pain; self-inflicted, hurtful and damaging. Will you never be happy?

Why do you blame your inability to move to the next phase of your life on everyone else but yourself? Does your serious infection of superiority complex have to be spread? Can you not go that particular 'it' alone?

Your every moan and whine spirals and sucks everyone around you into a vortex of irritation and anger. A frustrated state where we can't seem to believe we deserve to be ourselves. My rib cage hurts from just thinking about the impossible ways you inflict this disgusting wave of self-involvement.

I screamed into the screen yesterday; just trying to blot out the noise. Words without feeling, without sense, without purpose. ARGH!

Is there no space where we can meet? Is there no solution to this desolate situation? Will you not make peace with your suffering? Was there suffering in the first place?

Why does your dissatisfied sigh settle amongst our bones? Are your own bones weary and infused to the brim?

For every gift and privilege your claimed as your right; for every second of someone else's time you stake your claim to; for every intake of someone's breath you suck; for all those times you could have been happy.

I now say verily unto you that you have had your fill. And that my life is mine to recreate and gift to an unknown generation, to a promised land, to myself in healing.

Make peace with yourself. And us. It is a command. Not a request.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

- "Ever had that feeling?"

+ "What feeling?"

- "You know...the moment you own up and admit, you don't know where your headed"

+ "Everyone goes through that at some point, don't they? Tell me something new"

- "Something new...what's new is that one's willing to admit the feeling in all its
honesty and that its not a thought that comes at some point and leaves. It

+ "And then what?"

- " either change the situation. Or you keep going in the same direction."

+ "I figured that much.."

- "..Here's what's new though...not everyone listens to the feeling."

+ "Is there anything else?"

- "Yeah."

+ "What?"

- "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."

+ "Tell me something new"

- "Not biting?"

+ "Nope"

- "Okay then."