Monday, February 09, 2009

I ask you...

Would it really upset your apple cart to come to terms with my life and choices?

How would it feel to just be able to breathe without having an aneurysm? Why is it that every step I take or make interferes with your better judgement and enjoyment of the world?

Is it not enough that you had your chance to live? Must you then force your burdened ideology on others, especially me?

Why are you in so much pain; self-inflicted, hurtful and damaging. Will you never be happy?

Why do you blame your inability to move to the next phase of your life on everyone else but yourself? Does your serious infection of superiority complex have to be spread? Can you not go that particular 'it' alone?

Your every moan and whine spirals and sucks everyone around you into a vortex of irritation and anger. A frustrated state where we can't seem to believe we deserve to be ourselves. My rib cage hurts from just thinking about the impossible ways you inflict this disgusting wave of self-involvement.

I screamed into the screen yesterday; just trying to blot out the noise. Words without feeling, without sense, without purpose. ARGH!

Is there no space where we can meet? Is there no solution to this desolate situation? Will you not make peace with your suffering? Was there suffering in the first place?

Why does your dissatisfied sigh settle amongst our bones? Are your own bones weary and infused to the brim?

For every gift and privilege your claimed as your right; for every second of someone else's time you stake your claim to; for every intake of someone's breath you suck; for all those times you could have been happy.

I now say verily unto you that you have had your fill. And that my life is mine to recreate and gift to an unknown generation, to a promised land, to myself in healing.

Make peace with yourself. And us. It is a command. Not a request.

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