Monday, December 19, 2005

Overwhelmed with a propah noun

It's not everyday you get to stand back and take a birds eye view at your life. I got a strange but very raw taste of it when I was signing Christmas cards at the office. Ironically, I'm close to 2 weeks old here (overwhelming, cause I still think it's just yesterday I was walking in and being introduced to everyone) and I'm signing Christmas cards cause tis what you do when you're part of a team. This is contact building, an unofficial way of introducing yourself.

You'll have everyone at the receiving end of those cards looking at your name funny, and thinking - hey, new girl! Alright! OR hey, new person, hmmmm....wonder if I can get more freebies...alright!


So I'm signing these cards, yeah? And half way through the Lifestyle pile, I'm saying my name as I sign 'em, kind of trying to keep myself occupied. When the moment hits me. Bird's eye view. Megha. Meg.ha. Megha. - I keep saying this over and over and realize that it's not everyday when you look at your name and repeat it slowly for around 50 odd times and suddenly you're looking at yourself, your name suddenly takes on such a new dimension of importance.

you begin to think what people think, when they read your name, you begin to think of the possible images they could have of you in their head, their expectation when they're gonna meet you for the first time, the preconceived hair type, skin and clothes. The reaction when they see you.

So if you're Megha, it sounds northish, it sounds like she's this jhola bag type, the writer, the extra sophisticate PR person, the friendly girl next door (can a Megha be a girl next door?) Hmmmm....nope!

And then you don't know the name anymore, by now you've said it more than a 100 times, and you're wondering who you really are. Whether you embodied the name well enough. Did you do justice to it. It's suddenly a new found responsibility. Many people really don't see much into their names. I know I didn't for the longest time. I mean I had versions of it being flung around everywhere. So many times the syllables would be lost in familiarity. Meg, Meghe, Mig, Maggie (I hate this one!), Migha (trust the phirangs to do this!), Maigha, Moigha, hey, listen, yo, hello, moale (mallu for beti), mol (shortform of the previous, yes we have them too!), kutta (sweety in mallu), eliammo, pay attention, listen up....see?

Yuo're not you anymore, your just part of the landscape. Another being in the wheel, another person. You're not you. and the worst part is, you get used to blending into the bland, and then you sort of come to expect it. Now, I'm not saying your name is supposed to give you an epiphany here. Nope, sorry. But what I am trying to say is that somehow, your name means a lot more to you than anyone else. It kind of stands for something, not just what it means, yeah? It's what it brings to you.

Forgetting it, is the first lesson we learn. Atleast I did. Until I signed those cards. To each his own share of personally enlightening experiences. But I do believe, my name took on a larger than life importance after that.

I have this great story of how I came to be named Megha.

Tomorrow. Is another day.

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