Monday, December 11, 2006

So Spew Spewed...and How!


So there's this guy...Spew. He's been B Schooled, writes well, engagingly so and enthralls with some wonderful anecdotes on life, lust, love, money, gender, a-day-in the-life-of and other such things that make all our posts that much more compelling.

So it isn't any surprise that i just HAD to pick up one of his posts and link it to this one here and well just take some time to add to it. Now, before you think i'm going to be nasty, i am only providing the other sides to the 'infinigon' that is the subject.

Shall i begin with a question?

Question: Isn't it just spiffy that ALL men have us women figured out?

It is isn't it? Because not ALL men have women figured out. I will grant the very few (who ultimately know it isn't something you crow about, thump chest and announce and so forth) The few who 'lay it out there' are the ones who've dipped their feet into the pool of unknown and come out triumphantly shaking and so 'cocksure' about that 'one' thing - Women are not easy, but i think i figured it out!

They come hard wired with a) b) c) d) and here are the sure shot ways to 'work' your way around it and a) get some b) get your laundry done c) feel warm and fuzzy d) get some more e) get them to shut up f) basically getting more out the buck and g) you can thank me and add to this later and h)...

You honestly think its that simple? And you want to know why guys nurse their beers after 7 years of being married and wonder what they hell they were doing with their lives, what that bootilicious squeeze they managed to bed in 1992 was doing and if she was still available, and what they needed to do to make sure that conference call at work could be rescheduled late...realllll late, for others they relocate to far off distant lands in search of money, peace, solitude - the neo-huntsman for their personal space.

For some guys, we're a statistic. Let's be honest. We're that 'unforgettable date/lay', 'person you want to take home (she's uncomplicated man - yeah, right!), 'easy', 'it just happened, it was time to settle down', 'my parents love her, that's all in know person' and it goes on.

The rule is there are no rules, Spew.

The rule is not to cloud your mind with - how do i deconstruct something that is unbelivably addictive, required and the clear case of the opposites and conquer her.

That's what the porno is about - minus the work your mind bit. Think about it. Women in 'easy cum easy go' story lines, with absolutly no reasons to debate the situation, place, peson or reason. She's pretty, she's buxom, she's got a hot ass. Wow! She doesn't say no, she's always ready for some more and she's a positively mind blowing cook.

You have the hot next door mom, the tight - peel my clothes of delivery girl, the leathered dominatrix, the naaive school girl (is it?!) the oh-my-goodness-gracious-heaven-help-me damsel in distress, the submissive....aww...for the love of...**&^$%$^&&&!

If that isn't an indication of how depraved the mind is when it comes to debunking myth, theory and plain common sense, i don't know what is. Bad enough so many of us have to 'adopt' these make believe stupid crappy personas to get men all hot and bothered.

I say this with absolute respect and deepest sympathies for the few men who actually don't think this way and have continued to face the wrath/force fields of quite a few women who are so bombarded with this stereotype that well...what can i say?...give the ones who have a fair chance a hard time. Hence the good fight...


What are the other million things you ask, Spew? Well for one there's the want of not being typecast as a gender. No...No...i don't mean equality, i don't mean feminism, i don't mean any of that...that's all on a different level of thought and understanding.

Girl walks into room, Guy looks. He either likes what he sees or he doesn't. Fair enough. The same goes for us. Let's face it, we're all attracted to some form of male or female.

Past stage one. You move in...she's nice to talk to, she's reasonably you're type, you like more of what you see, you like what she wears, hey! you like her attitude, you gotta love the ass/bustline/face/eyes/lips (whatnot), and then it're moving her around in your mental 3D, sniffing at the
nuances of her, wondering what would it take to break into that egg shell. How do i do this with out shattering anything??? Hmmm....

Problemo Uno. We're homosapien. So the sniff, growl, arch and attack, present with game, sport plummage - won't work. DAMN! Oh, and we're not in Pleasantville. I mean bully for you, yeah?

There is no right way. There is you and her/him (whichever way you swing) and what you make out of it. It can either be something special, something that would actually help you put to use some of the intellect we all save up for our time alone with our thoughts. Like your blog for instance.

I don't believe - Heil the Henpeck or Cuddle the Cobra will work. You got lucky, cause for that particular 'her' that's the master key to getting her way. So she did your laundry, she's stupid, maybe... OR she finally got her principle and interest later without you so much as realsing there was ever an agenda - oh hell yeah!

For another woman, you'll meet - it could Bamboozle the Balls or Ass whip the Ass Wipe. Millions more from where that came from, for every woman or man there is an MO. And each one coes with a kick ass title.

Think about it.

Men are about the layers. That's what we are about too. Layers. The more you peel the more stronger it gets. Which is why the few who last out there with a simple understanding that what they're dealing with is another human being with the same wants and thought processes only better endowed and aesthetically made (i might as well slip that in, yeah? Cheapshot or not) makes it more simple and enjoyable.

Be who you are and enjoy your time with like-minded pepople. If it goes soemwhere, well, yeah, enjoy it. It's not getting some. If it is, i feel sorry for you. If that is your one mandate when it comes to women, then i'm sorry you'll get those kind of women, who really don't want to take the time (just like you) and actually make it a mind blowing experience.

Y'see, the one time you must have had that is when you were the least scheming. It would have either ripped you up, it would have been the best time of your life, it would have been one of the most amazing coversation you had...that's the one you'll never forget, that's the one you'll always want. Because for the first time you actually stopped thinking and started being.

The old news is that men and women come from different planets. The fact is we don't. The old news is that men think in black and white and women in shades of grey (who came up with that crap anyway?!). The fact is we pretty much can do both.

P.S - Devoid of any of other darker complications, preferences, psychosis and mental illness - this would be for the men and women who actually have normal disposition towards relationships, gender, love, sex, happiness and most importantly life.

We are all open to opine. Such is the current state of affairs in our world. Women now have an equal if not condecendingly allows right to voice their opinion and actually bristle when they read something that puts them into a bloody mould. When women say men are easy to figure out - men like that. Well, i'd like to tell those women men aren't easy either. You never really know what they want sometimes. Most often that not you do - that's a different matter. Maybe we are wired a little more comlicated, maybe we do give birth to children, we sustain the race (blah), but let's not forget in our self induced worlds of importance, we miss out on what we can get from each other.


I'm tired now and this would be easier over wine and music and of course in person. This is just a piece of the feeling. A sliver of the depth. A sliver of a sliver. I now end to rest.

What's the use...? No really... It doesn't matter anyway, the battle of sexes differ from all identifiable demographics. It is a constantly evolving environement and what i say today is already commonplace.

But it had to be said. So i said it. It's 6:00 p.m. 7:30 p.m. where I come from.

Over and out.


Ford Prefect said...

Awww cmon ... Were not all that bad ... The purpose of every living organism is to survive and procreate (they taught us that at the Bschool ... the same one that Spew went to might I add)... and towards these purposes are all our actions directed ... consciously or subconsciously... moreover sometimes the chase is a lot more fun than the hunt itself ;-) …

Meg said...

Well in all fairness, yes the chase is the best part innit? I never said men ae bad...i'd be an idiot if i said that. You're guys are okay, really. Yeah. :)

So, how do I explain the post...well...i guess i'd have to say (with a taken exception to survive and procreate) that it was a reflex reaction. A keen jerk response, only the last few paragraphs really sum it up for me.

So (hands up with white flag), i would like to request the bench that they de-credit that post (except the latter half) it was an acutre emotional response.

The defence rests.

Spew said...

well put, eli..ALL of a weird way..we are saying the same thing..but sit down after a warm shower, a good meal and glass of wine..and you'll see how :)


Pratik said...

first of all - it baffles me to think that you actually typed out such a lengthy post in response to Spew's random ramblings! Well, I guess we all fall for it - at one pt of time or the other. The challenge of challenging his blatant views is kinda irresistible. And therein lies part of his trick.

Second - It has all been said before, and now you have done it again. So whether I read the first half or the second or the whole of it - it still makes for a good read.

It's the animal instinct tearing out of the homo-sapien facade. And that's irresistible too!

Well said...

don'thaveaclue said...

nice fiery post...question for you: why bother studying stock trends when not even the best 'analysts' have been able to foretell that big crash. its only a wellknown attempt to find patterns in randomness. same goes for spews theories on cuddling cobras. they might not work as a rule, think of them as shortcuts for the mind to go down when confronted with "if you don't know am not going to tell you..." situations and you're really putting together a schedule in your mind to meet that deadline at work

Meg said...

It's like trying to infuse a shot in the dark as a maxim. Sometimes its the 'rarest lame' that is quick on the uptake. For the sake of understanding each other (read men and women) we'll try apart from a very lopsided way of seeing 'the patterns'...there isn't much to it is there? :) Oh, and i agree withyou about taking all that effort to respond to something that was laid out there like a trap - ah well, one learns and lives...:)

gadarene said...

quick qn. sis:was it just spew that triggered this post?...anyways whatever did...well know me well enough to...well know i'm going to say in men's defence that a lot of women out there contribute to this stereotype(no thanks to f&^%#%g bollywood potrayal of women)& a lot of men feel the same way when they come across women like this...if she has no brain or chooses not to use it & is sitting across the table being the bimbo to the hilt with her tits spilling out of her top & the crack of her ass & the top of her g-string visible above her skin tight pants...well i'm sorry i'd get up & leave & if i were to stay,there'd only be 'easycum easy go' on my that surprising i ask you?...

Spew said...

Re-read this post after four years. Still as entertaining, man! those were the days of passionate debate !

Hope you still write privately, Eli :)