Thursday, January 06, 2005

How tough is it to do something by yourself?

Is there a difference by getting things done and doing them yourself? The fine line that draws itself so irritatingly thin - amazes me beyond explnation.

I was faced with a predicament today - there are some things i have been able to achieve all on my own. The more obvious things...

Like Education, if it weren't for me ii don't think i would have passed. Sure if you're to argue for the sake of it, there tonnes out there who do it 'differently'. But i did study and i did pass. I got myself a couple of degrees. My first job however was a lesson in self inflicted torture - i allowed my mother to make a recommendation. One can only imagine the rest of the joke.

The rest of the journey was not very smooth sailing but i have managed to get somewhere and i'm quite proud of it. However, down this journey called life, i happened to chance upon a few instances where, moreoften than not, i end up having someone with me when i'm trying to accomplish the routine or the out of the way task.

At the end of it all, i do ask myself...why in the world do i do it? Why i do let myself be emotionally dependent on people when i'm out trying to get my liscence fixed/updated, or why i must have moral support when trying to get my car serviced?

I'm still waiting for a divine answer - none has been received.

Coming back to the predicament - My father entrusted me with taking care of the affairs of the home, with land, lawyers, notary publics and other such divniely responsible stuff! Allright!!!
So, with dad and mom out in the deserts of the UAE, i was stuck with the responsibility and frankly i was glad something serious had cropped up. the reason? Well, to put it quite simply, there was a time (a many) that everyone would find it a bit too difficult to let me handle a job.

Here i was in a sense vindicated from that embarrassing fact with something as important as land deal documents and money. I knew my time had arrived. And so with all the pride i could muster (aplently at this point) i announced that i needed someone to accompany me on this quest. Stupid? I think so.

Sure we all need friends and someone to be with you when you're going through an unsure patch. But for god's sake to get a few papers signed?! Anyway, i called boyfriend, who answered in true gallant style. And off we went. And through it all this niggling question of why i couldn't just do this myself kept pricking me - until i snapped this morning and said to myself that today would be the day that Ms. Abraham grew up and did this alone.

And so when boyfriend (sick to the bone, but too in love to admit it) told me he was a little busy with work and that i'd have to wait, i just snapped up the opportunity, thanked him him for the wake up call (sacarsm knows no bounds!) and rode out on my trusty little automatic scooter to face the world of notary publics alone. i visited 2 and was crushed to find that they were either not available or just too dran expensive.

I filled petrol, withdrew some money from the bank and marched back to office and gave the papers to our logistics consultant - who kindly did the job for me in 45 minutes and came back to hand the papers over - safe and sound. Was i feeling elated, well there was a mixed reaction, really.

I felt great that it was done, and i had spent the minimal amount of money. But i felt lousy that i couldn't do it myself. That i couldn't walk up the sea of Notary publics and get 25 sheets notarised drove me nuts. The people in the higher echolons of the food chain might just say, "when there are people do these kind of things for you, you just let em go on and do it,". Logic says yes. Pride says "are you kidding me?!"

Then there are the do it your selfers - who look down at you and say, "tsk tsk...should have known you were the one to crumble..." I could draw myself up and graft myself into the so called 'get it done' clan. But then sometimes, you do steal an admiring look at the 'do it yourselfers'

Ah well, the good thing is that it's done and from the many miles of UAE it will always be that i got the job done.

Cheers to that.