Thursday, June 08, 2006
So here i am staring at a section of my desk post Thursday lunch. I decided i had to take a picture of it and share the view. Oh...me thoughts in general spill down below...
And so we've reached another fork in road, a road we all either dread, wait for or share an equal measure of both anticipation and reluctance to take.
My parents (God bless them both!) have reached that fork in the road where they will ride their mules back to India (they are officially back home as i type), whilst i take the road less travelled, knowing fully well that will make all the difference.
I'm not scared, but then what does one call this feeling at the pit of the stomach? Excitement?
I can hardly call this place a destination of dreams, unless i'm either white, have a passport to any of the ports in the western hemisphere or rightly have a platinum spoon glued to the inside my mouth for good measure.
No my daddio brought us up with the forthright outlook that was branded into each Abraham child by eartwhile P.S or GP as we nexgens knew him.
It was branded, i say it that way, because each sibling took it away and moulded it with their own streak of liberalism, rebeliousness or secret streak that makes each offspring that sprung later so amazingly different and yet bonded, that science, DNA or even logic remains stumped at the outcome.
Yes, and so i will foray into the world of living on my own again. Alebit almost a year too late. I guess being with the folks for a year after a 5 year run at independence only forged the fact further that they're amazing people and i love them dearly. But when it comes to personal space and time management and life in general, i have officially come to the conclusion that it is time, it is done on one's own.
Growing older is a bitch as is.
I'm not sure how things will turn out here really. I have all these maojr plans, and although conquering the world isn't one of them, i do know i would like to earn enough to buy a place of my own. Save enough so that i could make it to a cafe for coffee and write a book in peace without worrying about where my next meal would come from. If i were to do the math for just a piece of this plan, it would safely come upto around 5 years. And so, am i willing to waste it on something i know i'm not really happy doing?
Not sure really...
And so how will this dream be realised? Hmmm...
See these are the questions i hate, the one where the answers are as stable as fluff.
But then nothing is impossible.
And so the arguments or the battle of the positive and negative continue.
For now, one battle is won, i get to live on my own again, and it will be good. I know it will, for the simple reason that i have my space, my thinking zones and well i don't know the freedom to plan my day and my future!