Turning a year older is bad enough; but when you have a lot of insight and nothing to show for it...I think you got it.
I've had the good fortune of being able to learn so much from every flop or success (my personal rating) and yet, implementation of this hard earned flashes of wisdom continue to elude me.
OR is that really the case?
I've been bombarded with quite few signs of impending change. Imagine a tube of light with something stuck in the middle of it. The tube's half lit, the blockage isn't allowing the light to travel straight through.
That's pretty much where I am right now.
The blockage is my inability to gain clarity on what I need to do to get out of my current situation. The situation is not a challenge, a problem or a solution. It's a just self inflicted short-sighted wound. I haven't stopped slapping my forehead for awhile.
To be honest, I'm not beating myself up too much; to err is human. And I have learnt from all of my mistakes. So this time around, rushed optimism, (being a realist) is forgiveable don't you think?
Yes it is another excuse. To be forgiven, to be overlooked, to be blatantly unsuccessful in taking that much needed step to become.
Sigh.
F$%^.
...
I have a lot to be thankful for by the way. And so in this post; I'd like to thank the people who make a difference in my life, the one who changed everything for me, and the others who I am yet to meet and quite looking forward to bonding with.
I'd like to thank the conversations I've had with people; their personalities miraculously absent from the inspiring messages that poured forth; like they were possessed by energy - portals for a higher message - meant for my ears alone.
My hair for consistently enduring the horrible water and stress that is now synonymous with this here place I'm in.
My faith. It evolves along with me and beautifully so. Thank you God - for your humour, ability to customise and let's not forget - know-how.
My family for the distant and yet not so distant - love, advice, hope, humour, high fives, jokes and goss. Yes, thank you for the goss. For giving it to me.
For hope. It truly never dies.
Yeah. Peace out.
